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What irks me about K-Pop.
1. They all look and act the same.
2. When they don’t, they undergo plastic surgery to conform to the masses.
3. All the music sounds the same.
4. All the guys are BOY TOOL ROBOTS AND I SWEAR THAT THEIR BEHAVIORS ARE ALL SYNCHRONIZED, CATERING TO THE DEEP, DARK DESIRES OF THE FANGIRLS.
5. They are ridiculously overrated.
6. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY EVERYONE LIKES THEM SO MUCH.
7. Fangirls.
Types of Girls
HARD-DISK Girls:
She remembers everything, FOREVER.
RAM Girls:
She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.
WINDOWS Girls:
Everyone knows that she can’t do a thing right, but no one can live without her.
SCREENSAVER Girls:
She is good for nothing, but at least she is fun!
INTERNET Girls:
Difficult to access.
SERVER Girls:
Always busy when you need her.
MULTIMEDIA Girls:
She makes horrible things look beautiful.
CD-ROM Girls:
She is always faster and faster.
E-MAIL Girls:
Out of every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.
VIRUS Girls:
Also known as “WIFE”; when you are not expecting her, she
comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don’t try to uninstall her you will lose everything.
Pokémon and the Core Values
The core values of AHS are surprisingly applicable to Pokémon:
- Respect - If a trainer respects his or her Pokémon, the Pokémon will respect the trainer. If one does not treat their Pokémon with respect, grave consequences should be expected. During battle, Charizard will rest instead of using flamethrower, ultimately causing the trainer to lose the match. The key to Pokémon training requires an unbreakable bond of friendship, and without it, all efforts shall remain futile while certain Pokémon will never evolve.
- Responsibility - As a Pokémon trainer, one will need to uphold various tasks in order to thrive in the wild. If Squirtle is poisoned by a Grimer’s acid attack, one’s duty as a Pokémon trainer would be to rush the Pokémon to the nearest Pokémon center before it blacks out. Any Pokémon should be taken to the Pokémon center periodically, or after a string of battles.
- Integrity - In order to raise the stongest Pokémon, EVERY Pokémon in the party needs to be battling, INDIVIDUALLY. This means exp. share cannot be attached to Magikarp when Jolteon is the one battling. This is because the Pokémon with exp. share will not gain EV points, which would result in a massive loss of potential stat points. The only way for a Pokémon to gain true power is to have them battle for themselves. The easy way out does not work for the real Pokémon trainer. No pain, no game.
- Involvement - A Pokémon trainer needs to be willing to get his or her hands dirty, because it is no easy job. If one wants their Pokémon to grow, he or she needs to be out with them doing whatever it takes. A TRAINER NEEDS TO BE AWARE OF THEIR POKÉMON’S NEEDS. If they need that macho brace to gain EV points, give it to them. If they need leftovers to restore HP, give it to them. If they need that black belt to enhance their fighting-type attacks, give it to them. For every Pokémon team, there should be a Pokémon trainer on their side doing whatever they can to help them become the very best.
- Achievement - In order to become a Pokémon champion, one needs to collect 8 badges from each gym in the region, with every badge increasing in difficulty. Only with sweat, blood, and tears will a Pokémon trainer be victorious at the 8th gym, and then proceed to the Elite Four. Hard work and perseverance comes a long way for both the Pokémon trainer and the Pokémon, but it is rewarding in status, fame and self-pride. A true Pokémon trainer never gives up his or her goals, regardless of how tough the obstacles may be.
If all these steps are followed closely, anyone will surely be able to catch ‘em all and become a Pokémon master.
My new Spanish name is Alejandro. But I might change it periodically if the situation deems appropriate.
Girly Men?
Ironically, girls hate overly muscular men. They prefer a guy that’s skinner and more…feminine. Let’s face it - Every woman will appreciate a feminine male much more than a manly man. Why do I say this? If you look at today’s male celebrities, singers, boy bands, you will notice that it’s the feminine ones with the largest female followings. Girls like feminine men, ESPECIALLY gays. Well, it’s because they tend to be more caring, and thus have a better understanding of a woman’s needs. Furthermore, a feminine man will have much more common ground with a woman, making it easier to agree with each other due to characteristic similarities. However, there needs to be a balance. A girl will not go for a guy more feminine than she is. That would make her uncomfortable, insecure, and she will start to question her feminine identity. So, while females have a preference for feminine men, they still need to maintain the qualities of a man. It’s acceptable for them to be toned, but they should not try to overdo it. The values in society have changed. It is no longer necessary for men to work in the fields for 18 hours a day. A muscular body that can endure is no longer required for a man to maintain his family’s well being, making it harder to consider themselves “breadwinners”. The second most crucial factor aside from pure survival is agree-ability, or the survival of a man and a woman’s relationship. If a buff body is no longer necessary to get around town, it will be eliminated from the list of womanly values. This list of values has gradually shifted over time, favoring males that are more caring, compassionate, sensitive, and intellectual…just like a real woman! So, in theory, if natural selection were to be applied to a woman’s preferences on men, it would be the “survival of the gayest-but-not-gay”.
